I care about my weight

I know this post may be a little controversial but it’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while. I know so many people who are happy and healthy in their own skin, no matter their size or circumstances. I love those people. I applaud those people. I am not one of those people. I believe everyone has the right to do or be what they choose. And I choose not to be fat and unhealthy anymore. I choose to improve my circumstances.

 

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I care about my weight.

I care that I can’t tie my own shoes.

I care that I can’t sit down comfortably when I’m wearing pants.

I care that my bottom no longer fits properly in most café or public transport chairs.

I care about my self-esteem.

I care that people don’t pay attention to me.

I care that I live in a society where any of this even matters.

I care about the glazed look some people get in their eyes when they talk to me.

I care that I don’t get catcalled.

I care that I care about being catcalled.

I care that my opinion of myself has sunk so low.

I care that all of this makes me feel I am not worthy of even the lowest form or male-female attention.

I care that I can’t walk up stairs.

I care that I can’t walk along the beach.

I care that I have to make excuses when people invite me to “active” events.

I care that the thought of having to keep up with someone while walking up hill terrifies me.

I care about my body.

I care about my health.

I care about my self-image.

I care that I let myself become so unfit and unhealthy.

I care about my future.

I care that heart disease runs in my family.

I care that I feel like I may spend my life alone.

I care that I may one day be too unwell to run around with my own children.

I care about my weight.